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From Playtime to Facilitation: Insights Gained from Everyday Moments with Kids 

By: Dilhara Muthukuda | Jan, 10 2025
Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging Facilitation Methods & Strategic Planning

kids lying in a circle on a rug

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

As an experienced facilitator and someone who has worked with groups of all sizes, I thought I knew most of the tricks of the trade. But my experience with kids has proven to be one of the most surprising sources of wisdom for facilitation. My roles as an auntie and a tennis coach have given me countless opportunities to observe kids and learn from them. Children have a unique ability to strip away pretense, revealing truths that we often overlook in the adult world. Here are some of the key lessons I've learned about facilitation from kids:

1. Meet People Where They Are

Children don’t come into a room with preconceptions about how things “should” be. They live fully in the moment, whether they’re excited, bored, or tired. As a facilitator, I’ve learned to assess the group's reality and meet them where they are. If kids are restless, it’s time to incorporate movement. If they’re curious, I lean into exploration. Adults aren’t so different—the best facilitators know how to tune into the group’s current state and adapt accordingly.

2. Create a Safe Space for Expression

Kids thrive in environments where they feel seen and heard. They’re more likely to share their thoughts if they know they won’t be judged. I’ve found that adults, too, respond well to a space where vulnerability is welcomed. Setting ground rules for respectful communication and modeling openness can encourage even the quietest participants to speak up.

3. The Power of Play and Creativity

Play isn’t just for kids. Introducing elements of fun and creativity into facilitation sessions—even with adults—can break down barriers and foster collaboration. Activities like storytelling, visual exercises, or even a quick game can ignite new ideas and energize a group.

4. Patience and Flexibility Are Key

Kids have a way of reminding you that things don’t always go as planned. Whether it’s a sudden outburst or a wandering attention span, I’ve learned to remain patient and adjust on the fly. This flexibility has served me well in adult settings, too. Sometimes, the agenda needs to shift to meet the group’s real-time needs.

5. Ask Simple, Open-Ended Questions

When facilitating with kids, overly complex questions often lead to blank stares. But a simple, open-ended question like “What do you think about this?” can spark surprisingly profound responses. With adults, simplifying questions can similarly uncover fresh perspectives and foster deeper conversations.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Kids light up when their efforts are recognized, no matter how small. I’ve discovered that adults also appreciate acknowledgment. Celebrating small milestones during a session—whether it’s completing an activity or arriving at a shared understanding—helps build momentum and keep morale high.

7. Be Authentic

Kids have an uncanny ability to sense when someone isn’t being genuine. They respond best to people who are authentic and approachable. This has reinforced the importance of showing up as my true self in every session, whether I’m working with children or adults.

Working with kids has reminded me that facilitation is as much about connection as it is about process. It’s about creating an environment where people feel safe, engaged, and inspired to contribute. By embracing the lessons children teach us—openness, curiosity, and authenticity—we can become better facilitators for all ages.

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